June 1, 2006 - Day 2 - Week 9 - The Yo-Yo Effect

One of the great toys of any era is the yo-yo. I never mastered it, but I could walk the dog, create the cat’s cradle, and sling it around in a big arc.  Where most of my time was spent, however, was in just watching it go up and down.  That upside down flick of the wrist sent it cascading down, and the little jerk lifted it back up in a pattern that was very satisfying.  Chemo therapy should be renamed the yo-yo effect because my experience has certainly mirrored that up-down pattern.

For the last two weeks, prior to Round Three, I have felt like I could conquer the world, but the last few days my world conquered me. Going from feeling like a million bucks to feeling like $37.50 almost over-night is interesting.  With the flu coming on you have a graduated process of recognizable systems, but not with chemo – whammo; back to bed for a nap is the only solution; at least for me.

Several friends, including my pal Les have warned of the cumulative effect.  Well, so far everyone is right about predicting my experience.  Round one easier than round two and round three harder than round two.  By round eight I may look like a yo-yo, rather than responding like one.

As I have alluded to before, my 90 year old paternal grandmother was the philosopher sage of the family She reminded me on several occasions as a teenager, be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.  This certainly applies to those in yo-yo land.

Up and down and sometimes swung around by the process of getting well, we should all be sensitive to what others are going through, even if they do not share their story openly. The common denominator seems to be that the yo-yo effect affects everyone.

Life itself has often been described as a series of ups and downs.  No one seems to escape either.  Perhaps when we intersect with our friends and acquaintances we can keep in mind that the outward and visible is not always the true and telling story.  In my case, because of a little color on my face, a nice haircut, and weight loss – most people remember me with a ‘protruding paunch’ think I am looking good today.  Those who do not know what is going on have no clue because the outward appearance is deceiving.

This is perhaps a lesson that my grandmother wants to keep reinforcing in me.  She keeps reminding me:  Peter everyone’s story has a bit of the yo-yo effect – never judge, be kind, and listen. In the meantime, I hope the rebound tomorrow is noticeable.

PS – I may try and find a Duncan Yo-Yo.  They were always the best balanced and the easiest to use.  Maybe I can still walk the dog.

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