May 19, 2006 - Day 3 - Week 7 - A Grouch Is Loveable Too

Time and time again we are all reminded of the power of positive thinking.  It is almost a cliché to be told to ‘keep a stiff upper lip’ or that the ‘right attitude is the right approach’, but somehow we keep comments like this central to our vocabulary.  Another favorite of many employs a word picture to get the message across:  look at life as if the glass is half full, not half empty.

However, today’s thought is an apology for those suffering from cancer that just can’t seem to pull themselves out of bed each morning to face the day with a chipper attitude and a big smile.  Frankly, thousands become so debilitated by this disease that bedtime is solace and strength, and getting out for a stroll becomes a thing of the past. Cancer treatment coupled with the toll cancer takes on the system buries many underneath the covers, both literally and symbolically.

That scenario is painful enough, yet others continue to punish themselves further. Knocked down by radiation or chemo therapy, or just plain worn out by the ordeal is neither a punishment by God nor the consequence of past indiscretions.  However, some people feel that their misfortune, in fact their illness is bad karma winning over good karma. They blame themselves, others, medicine, the environment and bad luck.  Self pities takes hold and oftentimes never let’s go, and for these folks we extend our love and support.

This type of behavior, and we have all seen it or experienced it for ourselves, usually creates, or often stimulates a rift between family members or friends.  We shun the negative person, we avoid the complainer, and we loathe hearing one more miserable story of one’s plight.  Thus, the cancer patient who is upbeat wins friends and influences people, and the cancer patient who is a pain in the neck suffers alone.

No, I am not preparing family and friends for my ‘grouch’ period, though it may come. Nor am I justifying well thought out bad behavior to extract pity from good Samaritans. However, what I am saying is that through life we will encounter hurting folks who for whatever reason are unable to pull themselves up by the bootstraps to fight whatever battle they face.  These friends or acquaintances may expect to be shunned like lepers because that is often their fate.  Today is the day to reach out to those who see the world as a half empty bottle.  Oddly, this is another way you and I may grow as persons.

I love hanging out with winners, who doesn’t?  The Lance Armstrong’s of the world get to write books and garner admiration in bucketfuls. But, for every Lance there is a Louie or Lucinda who needs a crutch, or maybe even two, just to do the simple things in life. Each of us probably has a crutch or two lying around someplace that we can share.

Experience will demonstrate that when we reach out to the one we might label as a loser transformation of both individuals may take place.  Cancer is not someone’s fault, yet many afflicted hide, runaway, avoid contact, and bemoan the sunshine of the day.

As we open our hearts to them a metanoia, a change of heart may take place within us at the same time.

As we have learned, if we have children, even The Grouch on Sesame Street is down deep a loveable character.  We may encounter a few negative folk along our life’s journey.  Don’t always pass them by for they may be able to teach.

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