May 11, 2006 - Day 2 - Week 6 - The Reality Is Always Around The Corner

An aside:  If a picture can speak a thousand words, then the new photograph, courtesy of Katy’s niece Amanda, taken at her wedding to Clark last June, tells an entire story.  My dancing partner of 21 years brings out the child in me especially when Benny Goodman’s One O’clock Jump is played by the swing band.  Perhaps this photograph will remind us all to keep the spring in our step even when the going gets tough.

As adults, many of us have listened attentively to friends telling of the impact of cancer on families we know.  The reality of this disease is that it takes thousands of lives every year; many extended family units suffer greatly.  We all want to hear success stories – I am no exception – and many such stories have been offered by friends Marcia, Barbara, Les, Buzzy, Anthony, Lisa, Marianne, Joanne, Meme, and Cindy, to name a few; but sadly, and all too often, there are  tragic endings to people’s lives that can teach and empower us as well. 

An example: An old friend David called me from Ohio yesterday to wish me well.  We worked together on a big organic fertilizer project when he was the aggregate technical director for Martin Marietta Materials.  His expertise brought us together, but the friendship transcended our talking about granite and basalt rocks and Eco-Min.

Married to Ann for 30 plus years, David’s family reflects and lives the mid-western values we admire in our country.  David and I caught up, spoke of how the years pass quickly, and then he shared what he has been through since we last talked.  This past year Ann’s two sisters died of lung cancer only 6 months apart.  One smoked, the other did not, yet they succumbed quickly to one of the cancer types that instills fear in many.

Why did two of three sisters contract cancer at the same time and die so quickly?  No one knows the answer to many of life’s mysteries, including this one, yet I went to sleep last night thinking of how stories like these can prompt us to find answers. Can David’s dramatic family story teach?  Will these premature deaths guide us to a greater understanding of cancer?

One thing we all know is that when the community gathers for a funeral, it is focused on story telling. Family and friends tell parables, anecdotes, and stories about their loved one. These teachable moments are something we generally do not like to attend, but they are helpful in discerning truth about difficult issues facing all of us. 

We must never become immune to the suffering and agony felt by families like David and Ann’s.  Not only that, we must avoid becoming complacent or accepting of this as a fait accompli.  Death from cancer tears at the heart and soul of families, and by extension, communities.  As John Donne reminds us in his classic sentiment:  “No person is an island, every one is a part of the continent, if a clod (piece of dirt) be washed away by the sea Europe is the less.”  Our community is diminished by the loss of anyone to cancer. Each death diminishes the whole.  It is time we find out why cancer is taking so many of our friends in so many ways.

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