April 24, 2006 - Day 6 - Week 3 - Wisdom of Others

The day was filled from morning to night with conversations that filled me up and reminded me that we are social beings nourished by contact with others.  Hiding from cancer does not work for me.  I experienced five lengthy personal chats with 4 men in their sixties and 1 man in his nineties.  I will reflect on all, but focus on my 2 hour visit with my 94 year old friend Dr. John Seeley.

The day began at 3 am with reveille in the form of an alarm clock.  Katy had a 6 am flight to Chicago to meet Laura to visit The Kellogg School of Management, and find a place to live for two years. It is dark at 3 am and The White Cab, parked in the garage, does not even know how to start at that hour.  Actually we left at 3:45 am and were at the airport at 4:20.  I was back in bed at 5:10 and began the day at the civilized hour of 7:30.

Breakfast dialogue with Roger over green tea taught me that at whatever age, the accumulation of knowledge is of value in our culture. Among many posts, he belongs to a book club and keeps reading stimulating works.   The afternoon dialogue sitting on the curb in front of our house was spontaneous because my thoughtful neighbor David was painting in new numbers, so that I and others could find my house.  We have been neighbors for 16 years and this was the longest most personal conversation of our time in the same cull de sac. Prior to leaving the house for dinner Dan called to say he was thinking of me and had read the website.  We talked about cancer in dogs because he has had a distinguished career as a veterinarian.  Studies now confirm pesticides on lawns are giving dogs cancer at unprecedented rates.  Dinner with Terry concluded a long day.  We covered the waterfront from genetically modified seeds to golf.  His wife was out of town so it was a natural for the two temporary bachelors to get together.

It is now clear as the world goes cyberspace it is more important to go face to face. Each conversation reminds me of the value of always being a disciple, a learner, who can find glimpses of wisdom through the life of everyone I encounter.

And that leads me to reflect on my mentor and friends wisdom he has shared with me since 1980.   Dr. Seeley continues to possess the intellectual horsepower of a 747 jet while I stumble along with my little Cessna.  In two hours, besides sharing a Thai lunch, we talked about prayer, organized religion, the latest book I read, wisdom, enlightenment, the state of the world, and what we are being called to do on a daily basis.  We in essence solved two thirds of the world’s problems, left a third for others to solve, and concluded that our friendship is special.  He spoke of his softening heart and how the older he gets the more room he has in his heart for others.  Remarkable, for he has always been the most inclusive accepting person I know.

Where this dialogue fits into my having cancer is that John suggested discernment as a criterion for wisdom.  If I am to be wise about this illness I need to have an acute sense of what will help me remain strong and what will tear me down.  Discernment is a practiced art, and those with the skill are closer to be called wise.

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