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The Kreitler Compact
Peter Gwillim Kreitler

September 1, 2006 - Day 3 - Week 22 - More Birthday Thoughts

Yesterday, we had the opportunity to celebrate Katy----an important perspective in the context of our focus on Peter's battles with cancer. Aren't you thankful for "birthdays"? It's the perfect excuse/opportunity to direct attention to the people who matter in our lives----from our spouse, our kids, or mom or dad to a colleague at work or a pal in your book club. It's a day when we can step right up and say, "You know what? You're a wonderful person! It's a privilege to know you!" Or, you could put it right out there and say, "You know, I care very much about you"......or it could be that perfect opportunity to say "I love you". When you extend those sorts of greetings on someone's birthday, people can set aside possible concerns about ulterior motives and just enjoy the message. It's simply oh so nice to hear that you are appreciated, cared for, and loved by others---no strings attached! Birthdays are a day for doing precisely that. I'm sure we all hope that Katy was showered with such greetings yesterday----and I hope she felt a warm glow from receiving such messages. She deserves it.

It so happens that today marks the 61st anniversary of my birth, so I have some other perspectives on the subject of birthdays. Just as we are grateful for the opportunity to express our love, support, and admiration for the birthday girl/boy----so it is that the birthday boy/girl is grateful to receive them. My phone has been ringing off and on all day----my email in basket contains a few messages from dear old friends---I know there are a few cards via snail mail that await me at home this evening. I deeply appreciate that friends and family who mean so much to me reciprocate that feeling---and take the opportunity to express it. In my heart, I KNOW their love and appreciation; the words, nonetheless, are always welcome. Those affectionate bonds are the essence of life's most important gifts, a fact of which I grow more acutely aware with each passing year.

Today my "birthday gratitude" encompasses yet extends beyond those loved ones, old friends, and colleagues. I began the day with my usual ritual of a good dose of exercise at the gym where Peter and I hang out and trade notes. As usual, the dawn quietly filled the sky with morning blueness, the pelicans cruised the waves for breakfast, and I became lost in Vivaldi or Handel.......Could there be a sweeter way to begin a day???? Part II of my regimen is a brief "cool off" in the condominium pool, before putting the rest of the pieces together for my day at the university. Our daughter, Hillary, called this morning with her wonderfully melodic birthday greetings...truly music to this dad's ears. She asked me how my day was going. I looked at the clock. It was ten minutes til 9:00 am! It was at that point that I began to consider what prior birthdays were like at ten til 9:00 when it was the norm to get up at "oh dark thirty", hustle out of the house in a rush to drive to the metro early enough to find a parking place, then commute for an hour of more before walking through sweaty/freezing weather to my overheated/freezing office. On this morning, therefore, all I could do was sigh deeply and realize how grateful I am to live in such a beautiful place in a way infinitely more suitable for human beings. After some 26 years in Washington, DC, that realization is no small matter.

In the global and more important context, I am constantly conscious of the comfort and luxury of my life compared to the pain, anger and despair of the human condition in places like Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan, Darfur, etc. I can't even begin to know what each day must be like for children, moms, dads, husbands, wives........It's clear to me that I am not enjoying the luxury of my birthday because I "deserve" it. The obvious inequity of it all humbles me. Even that unnerving perspective, however, is not sufficient that I would discount the precious gift of love, support, and friendship that surrounds me on this day.

A birthday in itself is a gift. What could be more appropriate than to say "thank you" to the mom and dad, grandmothers and granddads, great grandmothers and great granddads and all those generations of ancestors who led to that moment in time when each of us began life? My birthday wish for all of you? That warm glow of realization that you are loved and cared for across time and place more than you will ever know. Enjoy YOUR day, just as I am enjoying mine. Compleanos!

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