April 17, 2006 - Day 6 - Week 2 - My Own Grievous Fault

At times we all show moments of brilliance, while on occasion we suffer from mild cases of stupidity.  Yesterday was one of those days and I take complete responsibility for my actions and not so intelligent decisions.

Easter Sunday, bright and cheery, began with Katy and me ushering at church.  I wore a yellow shirt with a yellow tie that had little chickens coming out of their shells; reflective of new beginnings. Very festive and the tie mirrored my mood and feelings. After church we gathered up a few vegetables at the Farmer’s Market in town, and then the long down hill slide began.

I suggested a chocolate croissant from the bakery might taste good and Katy commented that it would go well with a decaf vanilla latte from The Coffee Bean,  Very Southern California and appropriate for a Sunday morning; however….  The problem is that as a Type II adult onset diabetic my blood sugar must be kept in check especially during this 8 month treatment period.  Sinning on Easter in this fashion was rationalized and when sinning one should sin boldly, and boy were those chocolate gems tasty.

Lunch with family was celebrated around the table and the all organic meal was healthy and even eaten gracefully by Theo (6) and Megan (3). Then it was time for desert, and the choices were enticing and varied.   Here is where I should have excused myself and gone for a walk or meditation in the woods to avoid temptation..  No!  I cut the first piece of chocolate chip cake and ate it with a glass of milk as fast as Megan ate the chocolate eggs she found in the back yard.  Don’t tell anyone, but I also snuck a second piece I ate standing up in the kitchen.

Celebrating family distracted me from what was happening to my internal eco-system.  I ignored Laura’s admonition and indulged in other sweets that had gone unnoticed by the grandchildren.  My will power went on an Easter holiday.

The final insult to my system was the pizza for dinner, and the cinnamon bread, warmed, with the vanilla icing.  Heck, we got that free with our two medium pizza’s from Domino’s.    Carbohydrates and sugars, may be a part of a diabetic diet, but in moderation and balanced with proteins.  The pizza was thin crust, and all veggies, but adding insult to injury all during the day warned me that I was in for a hard long night.

Perhaps I might have knelt at a wailing wall and pounded my fist to my chest as do the Jewish devotees on Yom Kippur and as monks do in monasteries as they utter “my own fault, my own fault, my own grievous fault.” But, no I suffered with a terrible sleep interrupted by cold sweats and incredibly dry mouth.  Penance for sure, stupidity of the most blatant manner.

The lesson is clear, at least for Peter.  Our bodies are like the earth.  We possess incredible resiliency and self healing powers, but when we over-shoot the system it reacts.  We are over-taxing and over-burdening creation and the groans are being heard from the polar bears to the great apes, and soon many more in the human family.

I really felt great for the last three days but forgot or denied who I was and it cost me dearly.   I over-shot what my system could take.  My guilt now expunged, I will only take a bite of the croissant or cake, not two big pieces on the same day, in the future.

PS.  The hard part will be telling my doctors on Tuesday and Thursday.

Back to Week 2