August 6 - Day 5 - Week 18 - Progress Denied

Have you ever had the feeling that you just begin to get a grip on something that has been a challenge over a period of time, only to have it slip away once again?  Learning how to cope with a chronic illness is often a lifelong process, so I feel fortunate having to deal with chemo therapy for only eight months.  Now that I am over half way through the treatment regimen I felt that I was getting a handle on how to cope.  I was proud of myself, and quite complacent that I had learned from four rounds preceding this one and that sleep on the day of the five hour intravenous drip would solve problems later in the week.  Recovery was to be easy this time, yet in all honesty, my expectations have not been realized and my success has indeed eluded me this time.

Heart palpitations are the added unintended consequence of round five.  The usual leg swelling has not manifested itself, perhaps because, no assuredly because of the diuretic that has been proscribed, but the small c called constipation has reminded me of just how wonderful a healthy functional waste system really is for the human body.   Being a regular guy has taken on new meaning for me and regulatory is as important as punctuality, spirituality, functionality, and congeniality.   However, the rapid heart rate, especially in the middle of the night, every night, makes each day that much longer. When sleep is denied at night the day is a blur. 

I will get some answers soon; at least that is the reason for another full day visit to the hospital.  Ironically, I have been asked to be interviewed on the local St. John’s Hospital Medical Center television show on Wednesday because I will have spent the entire day before up close and personal with the facility.  Our topic is to focus on the learning’s of a clergy person experiencing cancer.  However, we may have to change the one half hour interview to incorporate the new data.

Every person I know who has had cancer wants to get back to a normal life as quickly as possible.  I am no exception to that rule.  I ponder daily what exercise, dietary, rest, work, or play patterns are most helpful in my path to normalcy again.  The jury I s out right now because no combination of the above seems to mitigate the heart beating hard and fast and at unusual times during the day.  No magical potion has been offered yet I continue to explore options for long term well being.

All for now once again as I am a bit winded just writing these few words.  Or, maybe it was that the stair climb in our friends home that triggered the shortness of breath once again.  Rest time.

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