August 4, 2006 - Day 3 - Week 18 - What A Long Day

Good days, bad days, long days and short days, one experiences each frequently during the cancer saga; at least I have not been spared any.  Today was a long day.

I arrived at the Clinic at 8:00 am.  Blood taken, pulse checked, blood pressure normal – good start and I was expecting Judy Nunnelly to join me for a little cribbage around 9 or so.  I began the drip drip drip of the intravenous tube and proceeded to bundle up and attempt sleep.  I do not know why but the clinic is often very cool and a blanket on the chest is mandatory even for a hot blooded diabetic like me.  Judy arrived and she beat me the one game of cribbage we played.  My pastoral instincts remain strong and my guests always get the benefit of going away a winner.  As we began to start game two Dr. Piro arrived to hear my report of my well being.

Within a minute and a half of describing the symptoms of swollen legs, heart palpitations, fainting, and shortness of breath I was not quite on code blue alert but close. Code blue is when someone has a cardiac arrest in the hospital and everyone stops everything to respond.  No nonsense Piro was on the phone to the cardiologist and I was scheduled for an echo cardiogram, fitting for a heart monitor and an EKG immediately; even though there was no room in the inn.   I was lectured extensively by Jolene, who is Dr. Cabeen’s chief nurse on the unintended consequences of chemo therapy.  Unless these symptoms were addressed yesterday I was jeopardizing my long term health.  Little did I know that the heart muscle can be weakened by chemo and I already had a heart that beat with an irregular and somewhat slower rate than normal.

Am I the living example of a human being disintegrating organ by organ, or is this all just part of my particular wellness pattern?  Only time will answer that question, but I am now trying to maintain blood sugar, energy, heart rhythm, weight, a good mental attitude, while saving the world from environmental disaster.  Interesting balancing act in play and certainly gaining my attention in new ways daily.

There comes a time in a person's life when one recognizes that focusing on his/her own health comes first so that he or she can continue to contribute to society.  Those with debilitating illnesses, and there are many much worse off than I, can teach us patience, perseverance and persistence.  Today all three P’s are a part of my emerging vocabulary that we have discussed in earlier entries.

All for now. I am tired.  PS.  I got home at 4:30 pm.

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