August 3, 2006 - Day 2 - Week 18 - Concern On My Face

Encouragement notwithstanding, and many of you have been consistent in your offerings, bad days do come with cancer.

This week was strange in that the symptoms experienced four months ago returned big time.  Going up stairs became a burden, heart palpitations exhausted me quickly, and I felt light headed more often than I wanted.  Yesterday when I was simply standing at the airport waiting to board the flight home I began to faint and would have had I not sat down immediately. Sitting on the plane I felt short of breath as well.  Both of these anomalies to my get well diet happened frequently in the last few days.

In this scaring me, yes it is, and more than I anticipated because I have essentially been free of these early warning signals that caught my attention awhile back.  Are the tumors returning to my chest area affecting my breathing, or am I simply over-tired from being on the go for the bulk of my time away?  I do not know, but today I can get some answers because round five of chemo therapy begins.

I am trying to re trace my steps to see what has triggered this familiar, but forgotten pattern.  One thing, my exercise routine was disrupted, but I was not a couch potato and did not watch any television or sit on my Nantucket Reds for more than a few minutes at a time.  Active in a house with a second story means stair climbing which I handled with relative ease in the first part of the trip.  Rowing the dinghy, paddling the canoe, or walking the neighborhood in search of an ice cream cone came easy to me, until the last couple of days.  Energy drink was ingested daily as were my requisite blueberries and I did not over consume lobster, clams, and scallops – though I did eat my fair share.

My sleep was fairly good though tossing and turning made my bed resemble the residual of a lengthy pillow fight.  Up once or twice a night is a good night so that was not a factor.

Maybe I put on too much weight too quickly and the extra 5-7 pounds were just too big of a burden to carry around.  Let’s hope it is just that and as I arrive home tonight the stacks of mail will be bypassed as I head for the scale.  When I weighed in at 177 I felt like Jack LaLane looks.  At 187 my six pack abs look like a sausage around the middle – yes the physical is as important as the mental in this challenge, so I am going to reassess big time; especially if the tumors are still shrinking.  I will know definitively two weeks from now, and in the meantime, back to seaweed, miso soup, green drink, veggies, and spelt so I can look and feel svelter.

Back to Week 18