July 25, 2006 - Day 7 - Week 16 - Footprints on our Hearts

The name Roosevelt conjures up images of two great Presidents and their contribution to the history of America.  Theodore, uncle to Franklin, was a conservationist, intellect, and leader who inspired millions, and continues to make the cover of magazines to this day.  Franklin, husband of Eleanor, led us through the most challenging era of our nation’s history.  In addition, Eleanor left us with a legacy of leadership behind the scenes and many quotable quotes, a few of which relate directly to the story unfolding in the Kreitler Compact.

Life is too short not to cultivate good friends is not one of her quotes, but when you become sick, friends more often than not become even more important.  Eleanor offered this powerful thought:  “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”

The heart is a remarkable organ that beats a rhythm that signals health.  When the cadence is altered people take notice and for an unfortunate segment of the population a heart attack permanently changes everything.  Cancer is more gradual in that it often sneaks up on us, sometimes without warning.  In my case there was an outward and visible sign of an inward and growing problem.  The tumors on the neck became enlarged and signaled trouble within.  In Jennifer’s case there was no indication of a tumor growing within.  In both cases, we were fortunate to be able to gain access to viable treatment options, but friends and family have walked the path with us.

The blessing of footprints on our hearts has become noticeable. True friendship is always reciprocal.  That reciprocity does not get measured in dollars and cents because our economic where with all may preclude tit for tat behavior.  However, friendship transcends the need to spend equally, but rather sets the bar high for both giving and receiving in an on-going pattern.

Cancer in our culture is such that it is a take notice disease.  Perhaps the sensitivity to cancer patients is acute because the mortality rate demands attention, but quickly one finds that the gestures of friendship have a different intensity and longevity.  A footprint on my heart may be left by the simple hug at a first unveiling of the disease to another. It may come in the form of a card, letter, email, gift, or verbal acknowledgment.  But, the common denominator seems to be consistency, and this may surprise some, the lack of need for reciprocity during the cancer.  Friendship is more of a one way street when someone is fighting to keep their health optimal.  However, as the health returns and the smile come back there is no excuse to avoid that reciprocity that fuels the friendship.

True friends leave footprints on our hearts because we are open to their presence and accept their gestures of loving care.  It is a good lesson for all of us to remember that the patient may one day leave a footprint on the heart of the caregiver as well.

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