June 27, 2006 - Day 7 - Week 12 - Personal Prayer

The single most common response to learning that I have cancer is both humbling and intriguing at the same time.  Almost universally offered, and shared both verbally and in written form are the words; “Peter, I/we will keep you in my/our prayers.’   This sentiment has been offered by persons committed to a faith community, and those with no religious affiliation at all.

How often I have offered those same words through the years, and now I am the recipient of prayers from a variety of individuals, institutions and sectors of our country.  Traditionally, prayer has been a glue that has bound individuals together in a simple ritual.  When I lift up my grandchildren in prayer, friends with cancer, or the people and soldiers in Iraq, I am signaling to myself that I have taken a moment to put each directly in focus in my life.  Prayer is my way, though not the only way, of acknowledging their importance to me.

Prayer is a powerful vehicle for connection to someone we do not see daily.  It is a reminder that our identity is in part defined by who we care about and who we love. Personal prayer directs our attention in a very concrete and meaningful way.

Prayers have been offered for my recovery in little out of the way churches across the country, and for this I express my heartfelt thanks.   Prayers have been offered for my family as well. In our community of faith this has become a common way of expressing care and concern, and we gratefully accept this type of petitioning prayer.  Yet, what is intriguing in all of this, is that prayer is probably more about you and me, rather than God.

Prayer to God is basically a conversation that allows us to open our heart in a trusting and genuine way. Expectation gets in the way of making that conversation worthwhile, but human nature is such that we enter into the relationship with some form of reward agenda on the docket. Put aside the need to have something happen, and prayer is wonderful.

If we believe in a transcendent power, a loving deity, and in our Judeo-Christian heritage we refer to that which is beyond us as Yahweh or God, this God is the God of all equally.  I hold the belief that our prayers can and will not pop God out of a box to watch in particular over me, or for that matter you or anyone, no matter how hard or often we pray.  With sadness in my voice, no one can ever guarantee healing for a particular individual, even if we bundle our prayers or pray incessantly.

As I write this the husband of a dear friend of Katy’s is gravely ill from cancer.  His doctor’s are stumped and modern medical miracles may not be enough to reverse the process currently happening.  Are we to assume God has not answered the prayers offered by family and friends?  Of course not, we know better than to assume that prayer is a guarantee that God will target one particular individual for healing. We continue to pray, of course we do, but reversal will not be dependent upon our prayers.

Praying for me, or my praying for you affirms our bond of caring, but will not secure a long life, eradication of the tumors in my body, or any other miraculous cure.  I know that some entity beyond myself, and God as I understand God to be, cares about me, you, and all in creation. Intercessory prayer or the lack there of will not determine the outcome of the chemo therapy, nutritional supplementation, and good wishes of The Kreitler support team. How God operates in all of this is a mystery.

I have bundled prayers, as have groups of people, synagogues, churches and entire dioceses for friends who have ultimately died of cancer in an untimely manner. On the other hand, I have known of individuals cured of the disease who are atheists or agnostics and surround themselves with like minded people. Prayers can not and do not control God.  Prayers can not focus God’s attention on me or anyone else anymore than God already focuses on me and everyone else on God’s time.

As a person confident in my own faith, deeply trusting that I and all humans are not the center of the universe, and the Divine is represented in the totality of creation I remain humbled and empowered by your prayers and thoughts for me.  Keep them coming for they lift me daily. Thanks for caring.