April 5, 2006 – Day One
- Angeles
Clinic Santa Monica, CA
Anxiety about the unknown can be debilitating and
yet it is hard to explain what someone experiences
facing chemo therapy. The word therapy is important
for it conjures up images of healing. Chemical
therapy is something of an oxy moron for me because
chemicals have contaminated my body. We ingest a
chemical soup provided courtesy of our air, water
and food, the basic elements of life. If we were to
isolate and analyze all the chemicals in our bodies
we all might be candidates for a toxic waste site
when we die. A simple focus on lettuce, for example,
would most likely indicate minute residues of over a
dozen different chemicals have attached themselves
to parts of our inner complex system. Herbicides,
pesticides and a long list of other cides are in our
bodies to varying degrees, yet the chemicals FNR
will be used to heal my body.
The Angeles Clinic’s treatment center is not like a
spa where soothing music from Sukay or Yanni fills
the room as you exfoliate, or do whatever you do in
a spa, but the lounge chairs invite sleep which is
probably what I will do during most of my 7 or so
hours .There are 5 chairs in my section. One man 54,
screenwriter and parent of a 19 year old sits
quietly listening to music on his I pod, is being
fed his cocktail for colon cancer. Two ladies,
sisters in law sit across from me, and I can not
understand a word being said for they are speaking
Rumanian. The third chair envelops a frail senior
with Alzheimer’s or as they say chemical brain. Her
son is attentive and concerned. for her as she
suffers with lymphoma. The last of the five chairs
is empty now but a Middle Eastern woman with husband
in tow has reserved it with her shawl. She is
fighting breast cancer. All five of us are in
varying stages that can be seen by hair loss. The
two of us who are beginning treatment today still
have our curly locks, and in my case those can be
counted on two hands and one foot. The lady from the
Middle East wears a lovely scarf, the elderly lady
ad complete wig, and the Romanian woman is seeing
her hair return. The ladies from Romania retired
early and their chair was taken by a teenage boy,
who coincidentally attended St. Matthew’s Day camp
as both camper and counselor.
A little room in the Angeles Clinic shepherding
diverse people through a process of solidarity
reminds me of the hope I harbor for the United
Nations. My first day on the hot seat illustrates
that cancer has no favorites. This minute slice of
life brought together an 86 year old woman and a 17
year old boy and everything in between. By the end
of the day we were all supporting one another with
words of encouragement.
In life it is worth noting indicator places,
species, and cultures to determine the state of the
world. To understand our own health or illness
requires the power of discernment as well, and there
are indicator milestones that help us know where we
are.
Each of us are attached to a Flo-Gard 6201 Infusion
Pump. Each tubing has been connected in a different
place on the body. The gentleman with colon cancer
is connected by a shunt just below his neck. The
elderly lady has the IV in her arm, the preferential
place, but I have a vein in the right hand that is
the site of choice for me. Actually, I was butchered
in both right and left arms and now I request a
small needle for the veins in my hands.
The expertise of the nurses varies dramatically when
it comes to the insertion of the needle. Being
pro-active works for me, and it is more comfortable,
and has yet to result in bruising. The secret seems
to be pressure applied when the needle is removed.
The more pressure the less swelling or bruising.
Request the where, and the nurse staff willingly
accommodate.
The 2 tablets of Tylenol are administered orally,
but the Benadryl comes through the drip system. To
prevent nausea, which is a common side effect of
chemo therapy, another drug is provided, Kytril.
Thus, I, in microcosm become what I am fighting
against in the real world. Too many chemicals,
unregulated and indiscriminately used are
compromising the eco systems of the world, but
chemicals are now a key ingredient in preparing my
system for healing.
My procedure begins with Rituxan which is an anti
body that gets my cells ready for the chemo
treatment. After almost 4 1/2 hours of a slow drip
of the Rituxan I will begin the Novantron. This
marks the beginning of my chemo treatment! This drug
will be dripping into my vein for 10 to 15 minutes.
Fludara follows for 30 minutes. That’s my treatment-
FRN. Because this chemo treatment will attack my
healthy cells as well as my cancer cells I will be
back on Saturday to take a drug called Neulasta to
stimulate my white blood cells if my count gets too
low. This is given as a shot so I’ll be in and out
quickly.
These, in combination, have been shown to be highly
effective in reducing the size and number of
inflamed lymph glands. Our lymph system is part of
our cleaning system and is vital to a healthy life.
I start with Rituxan, but it is tough keeping one’s
eyes open.
Nellie is my nurse. Efficient, pleasant, and
diligent in her duties, she visits me every thirty
minutes to change the rate of flow.. When you can
trust your care giver life takes on new meaning.
Trust is essential in all relations, and even in the
casual relations we encounter through life.
Competency at the highest level is appreciated in a
more intense way when one’s life is on the line.
No pain, the drip drip drip of the solution reminds
me that personal healing or global healing will come
slowly. Patience is a virtue yet I felt I need to
get on top of this immediately, and the same sense
of urgency about the collapsing of creation infuses
my every breath. I will be ‘hooked’ up for 8 months.
I think it is time to doze off.
More tomorrow.
Back
to Week 1 |
| |
|
|
|
